The Art of Asking
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
Amanda Palmer

Hachette Audio/Grand Central Publishing
October 2014 / ISBN 978-1478982883
Entertainment & Performing Arts / Memior / Audio Book / Unabridged

Reviewed by Leslie C. Halpern
  

An expansion of her 2013 TED talk of the same name, The Art of Asking is a raw, bold memoir that should delight established fans, inspire poorly funded alternative artists, and confound those unfamiliar with Palmer who were looking for a self-help book on asking for what they want. Known for her work as one half of the musical duo, The Dresden Dolls, and for her efforts organizing a highly successful Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for a new album, Palmer explores how giving and receiving factor into her personal and professional life.

On the surface, most of the asking is for money - tips as a stripper, donations as a street performance artist (The 8-foot Bride), funds for producing an album, and purchases of her products and concert tickets. Underneath all the asking for money is the underlying asking for love, acceptance, and approval implicit in the giving and receiving process. Instead of finding ways to make people pay for her art, she adjusted her thinking to "letting" people pay for her art, which produced a shift in consciousness that took away the shame and produced big results in her crowd-funding attempts.

Palmer, who sees herself as "first and foremost a musician," has come to appreciate art not as a product, but as a relationship. Fans accepting the music and paying for the music are gifts to her. Writing/performing music and accepting fans' payments for the music are gifts to the fans. This exchange of gifts keeps the relationship alive. She also spends time examining relationships with friends, family members, former boyfriends, her husband (author Neil Gaiman), and occasionally her detractors.

Some of Palmer's punk cabaret songs, which are recorded much louder than the narration, are included sporadically throughout this audiobook. In addition to the loud music, volume levels fluctuate as Palmer shouts, speaks normally, and whispers during her narration. This inconsistency requires frequent volume adjustments to the CD player - quite inconvenient when listening to this audiobook while driving a car.

Although primarily a memoir highlighting the author's experiences, perceptions, and beliefs, her story may contain enough universal truths to connect with those outside her fan base.