9
Rules of Engagement by
Harris Faulkner brings to the forefront the lessons she learned
growing up in a military family, which can be applied today.
She pays homage to the military ideals that shaped her, showing
how everyone can benefit from their wisdom. Her father, a
decorated career officer, a lieutenant colonel, served three
tours of duty in Vietnam and raised his children with the
values and ideals of the US military. The nine rules include
“Trusting your own potential, Overcoming the odds, Recruiting
our own Special Forces, Dealing with your demons, Staying
ready, Wearing camouflage, and Unleashing the power of integrity.”
The
Emmy award-winning news anchor of Outnumbered Overtime
with Harris Faulkner and co-host of the talk show Outnumbered
uses the skills she emphasizes in the chapter, “Staying
Ready.” Anyone who has ever watched these shows quickly
realizes that she asks the formative questions, never allowing
a guest to spin false narratives. “I try not to have
people talk past each other and to do the one thing we all
need to do, listen. As a host, I try to give people an opportunity
to speak. Yet I watch to see if they try to filibuster, a
sign to me that they are losing the argument. I enjoy hearing
all sides of a conversation and think that viewers can also
learn from it. I want to do the work of the viewer so that
they don’t have to figure out what the truth actually
is. I ask questions to illuminate where people are coming
from and to get to the truth. It is less about who is right
and more of what is right.”
The
chapter, “Recruiting Your Special Forces,” shows
the importance of being surrounded by supporters. “I
married my best friend. Today, people are dividing, firing,
separating based on politics. Instead, we should ‘fire’
someone if they do not show support for your dreams and victories.
In your personal life, as you strive for your goals, the inner
circle must be tight, and we should never tolerate someone
who does not have our back.”
In
speaking with Faulkner, it became obvious that she values
integrity in a person. “The military integrity and credo
give us that clutch. I understand how difficult some things
can be. But those serving know when things fall apart military
brats show their resilience. For a little background, in the
book, I refer to it as an enduring term standing for Born
Raised And Transferred. I think it is the military saying
thank you to us kids for having grit too. When one member
of a family joins the military, the whole family bears the
weight of the service. We sacrifice time with that parent
while they are deployed; we move wherever our loved one is
needed; we uproot our lives; we leave our friends behind;
and we start all over again with a supportive and positive
attitude because it helps our loved one do his or her job
effectively and return home to us safely. I want families
to get more credit for helping America as much as the person
serving. It is a total family service. I always tease people,
if you come up against a military offspring, you better come
forward with a lot of integrity and intuitiveness, because
we do not give up easily.”
This
is a bi-partisan book that has a great quote about another
form of integrity, showing an understanding for those who
do not agree with you. General Jack Keane’s book quote
on how Americans can use the military perspective is very
powerful, especially in today’s culture. “We are
racially, religiously, culturally, economically, and geographically
diverse, but for us to be effective, we have to build strong
unit cohesion…Every single member of the team has to
submit to something larger than self. That’s the military’s
key to success. Despite all the differences that we may have,
the only way we can succeed as a military organization is
to be bound to each other. Our concern for each other has
to trump our concern for ourselves.”
It
would be nice if politicians put this quote up in their office
where they must stare at it each and every day. Faulkner noted,
“One chamber can pass three hundred bills, and the other
chamber is so politically constipated they can’t work
through them. In our lives, we can win by working together.
A person’s integrity is measured by how you treat others.
Besides the military, I would also put First Responders, and
those defending us on the North and South Border, in this
category of those with integrity.”
The
“Camouflage” chapter has a personal anecdote.
She speaks of how she watched her dad polish his black boots.
“It is more than just a fashion statement. If you are
in the Navy, you need a blue set of clothes. You are not going
to fight in the desert with anything but a sandy uniform.
I do the color wheel for the women on “Outnumbered,”
because I want people to look at the screen and see each of
those women as dynamic, strong, smart, quick, and an individual.”
She
is very grateful to her dad for allowing her life to be molded
by those in the military, “people who served this nation
for the greater cause. My dad is loving, has a sense of humor,
and is a fabulous storyteller. My dad would sit someone down
and no matter what the circumstance he would start with a
story. He would bring me to the Pentagon where I met fabulous
leaders. My mom used to tell me because of my dad the bar
is high. As a child of an officer, we are expected to be positive
components of our community and to give our lives meaning
and purpose. I am very grateful for having grown up in a military
family.”
Anyone
who reads this book will understand how Faulkner has respect,
gratitude, and pride in the military. It is a story of courage,
love, and duty.
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