Perfect timing.

The world is all about pirates. I know because the last time I visited my granddaughters (down in pirate country near St. Petersburg, Fl), I lost one of the little darlings. She was found tucked under a rack of souvenir T-shirts reading Caribbean Pirates: A Treasure Chest of Fact, Fiction, and Folklore, a book she had, well . . . pirated off the shelf near the checkout counter.

In addition, we have the Disney rides on both coasts and three movies with Johnny Depp, all highly entertaining. Oh, and there's a ratty old 33 1/3 record album of music from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (Yo, ho, Yo Ho!) gathering dust in the storage section of my stereo. Probably circa 1973 and probably an item that would do me more good on eBay.

But here's the thing. Tim Bete, author, appears to have timing of a standup comic down pat. He has written a darned funny book about pirating that hits Amazon just as the pirate craze reaches its peak. His Guide to Pirate Parenting, about raising kids up right is essential because, with all this pirate stuff floating in the ether, a savvy parent is a very good thing to be.

As entertaining as this book is - and I suspect it will be so for both the parents and the kids - one does still get quite a few pearls (or other booty) of wisdom from it. Like what to do when your young pirate is illegally downloading music from the Internet.

Bete, the director of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop for Dayton University and the editor of a newsletter for authors who want to learn more about writing humor, is not only an expert on what's funny, but he has specialized in humor surrounding raising one's offspring. So, do you want to know what to do because your teenager doesn't listen to you? Well, if you're pirate parenting and care to listen, this book will have the answer. You stay sane. The kids? Well, they may grow up a little odd but they'll grow up not wanting to make YOU walk the plank.

Further, with this guide you'll all survive this summer's pirate frenzy better. The well-known theory behind this advice? If you can't beat them, join them.