Queen Klutz
The Misadventures of a Very Clumsy Woman

by Marti Lawrence

Have you ever had a day where mishap and misunderstanding ruled? What if the words unlucky and unbelievable defined your life? Sit tight – that's exactly how author and humorist Marti Lawrence describes her life in Queen Klutz: The Comical Misadventures of a Very Clumsy Woman.

So, you tripped on Fido's leash as you head out the door for your walk? Your car tires look flat as you head to work? Oh, those wouldn't even make Lawrence blink. She can break an ankle while standing in snow.

In the opening chapter, “Not the Best Kind of Breaking News: Gravity Hates Me”, Lawrence resumes a snow-capped friendship with Gravity, one of the super heroes she aptly nicknamed “Enforcers for the Laws of Nature”. Lawrence drops her son at an activity and soon arrives home safely – no small feat and short-lived for Lawrence , as readers will soon realize. She almost makes it inside her house. Almost. In the few minutes of gazing upon her frosted lawn, her ankle gets stuck in all that beautiful snow. She realizes only when her body moves towards the house while one leg stays still. As an experienced “klutz”, Lawrence uses the time lapse between shock and pain to drag herself in the house to call for help. Paramedics whisk her to the hospital where pain meds and metal plates put her back together again. It's not all bad – she now has a twin for the other, previously broken, ankle.

Lawrence expertly spins common occurrences – and a few not-so common – as a wife, mother, columnist, pumpkin farmer and entrepreneur into humorous stories. Some readers, myself included, will relate to the chapter “High Salt Generator: Hi, My Name is Marti, and I am a Weeper”. What things make you weep with joy? Your child's graduation or a friend's wedding? You're in good company. Lawrence must own stock in tissues since her tears rain at all occasions from the obvious milestones to long distance telephone commercials. Her family, affectionately nicknamed The Tribe, knows her weepiness all too well: they have years of blurry photos, that she snapped through wet, mascara-smeared eyes, to prove it.

In self-deprecating humor, Lawrence highlights mishaps in short chapters with titles such as “DMV - Or Diarrheal Mahatma Voodoo" and “The Two Thousand Dollar French Fry - E-Bay auction”. Famous quotations nicely punctuate each chapter's ending. From her collection of newspaper essays, Lawrence will delight readers with hilarious prose. Read Queen Klutz and find your new best friend – one who reminds you life's adventures can be funny.