How Gut Feelings Betray Us
Mary Ellen O'Toole, PH.D. with
Alisa Bowman
Hudson Street Press
October 13, 2011 / ISBN: 9781594630835
Non-Fiction
Amazon
Reviewed
by Elise Cooper
Dangerous Instincts, written by former FBI profiler Mary
Ellen O'Toole, Ph.D., with Alisa Bowman, is about how gut instincts
can be inaccurate. The reader will understand how to deal with potentially
dangerous people more effectively.
O'Toole emphasizes how people should not rely on their instincts.
She commented, "Think about it. You are depending on something
you can't identify, quantify, improve, and measure; yet, we say
we are confident to rely on it." Instead, she encourages people
to use the "SMART method." O'Toole developed and used
this at the FBI, to help people confidently respond to a threat
in most situations. SMART stands for sound method of assessing and
recognizing trouble.
Most people know someone who has been attacked, deceived, or abused
both emotionally and physically. Many times this happens because
the warning signs were missed. Do you really know everything about
your good friend or partner? Think about it, how well do you know
someone since, more than likely, you have not been around them all
their life. She noted, "We bring people into our lives and
homes, trust them with our children; yet, base the decisions on
whether they have a good job, wear nice clothes, are volunteers,
or are from a good family. We allow people to work their way into
our life on an emotional level."
In the book O'Toole teaches how to read people, make better life
changing decisions, including making sure those decisions are good
ones, and what possible behaviors might mean trouble: injustice
collectors, those with anger management problems, and how someone
reacts to criticism. She wants the reader to understand that "it's
not 'I didn't see it coming,' but more that you didn't know what
to look for. A human response is that most people will look the
other way and not take action. Many times people will ignore it,
explain it away, rationalize it, or normalize it." (Penn State
Coach Jerry Sandusky comes to mind.)
She cites an example in the book where your child wants to go to
a sleepover but you do not know much about the family. Many parents
would allow their child to go thinking, what harm can be done? O'Toole
disagrees and explains in the book that you need to find out how
the family feels about drugs, alcohol, and who they let come into
their house. Get to know the behavior of the parents first.
One of the most interesting chapters in the book is where she devotes
a whole chapter to psychopaths, giving anecdotes from her career.
She also explains the difference between the terms psychopath and
sociopath, using chilling details from her own professional experiences.
How does O'Toole explain someone who is able to make successful
and quick decisions about people? She cautions that "those
decisions are based on past experiences, education, and training
which enable someone to come to logical conclusions."
Today, Mary Ellen O'Toole teaches at the FBI National Academy, lectures
at the Smithsonian, and counsels those in law enforcement, school
officials, and private corporations.
Dangerous Instincts is a well-written book that allows
the reader to gain insight into how to protect themselves from potentially
dangerous situations. She challenges the notion that people can
rely on their gut feelings, intuitions, or emotional reactions to
effectively assess other people. If you want to learn how to protect
yourself or your loved ones from manipulators, those that bully,
or worse, psychopaths, read this book.
|