I Let You Go by Clare
Mackintosh is a very powerful debut novel. She grabs the reader
with an intense and sensitive storyline and never lets go.
The themes of emotional and physical abuse, atonement and
forgiveness are explored in a gripping way. Added to that
very human story is a terrific mystery element.
The plot is presented with an alternate narrative: Jenna Gray
speaks as well as the police investigators of a hit and run
accident where a five-year-old boy, Jacob, is killed. The
two detectives are attempting to find out who was responsible
for the boy’s death. They're determined to do right
by Jacob's mother and honor his memory by leaving no stone
unturned. But this is a difficult case to solve: it was rainy
and dark, no one was able to figure out what kind of car hit
him or see any noteworthy characteristics of the driver, basically
leaving the detectives without any clues to follow. The main
character, Jenna, disappears, attempting to make a fresh start
in a small town on the Welsh coast. But she is haunted by
her fears, her grief and her memories of a cruel November
night that changed her life forever.
As a former British police officer she was able to use her
experiences to create the plot. She stated, “Shortly
after I joined the police there was the investigation of a
real life hit and run accident. It stayed in my mind for years
afterward. I found it very hard to understand how anyone could
drive away from a dead child. That got me thinking, what were
their reasons? Then about nine years ago one of my sons died
of meningitis. He was a twin who was only five weeks old.
I thought a lot about grief and the affect it has on someone’s
life. It changes us and defines the choices we make within
a relationship. Yet, I was very careful to make sure the story
remained fictional.”
As Jenna attempts to move forward there is an abusive past
pulling her back. Mackintosh writes these heart-wrenching
scenes, allowing the reader to go through the same emotions
as Jenna. What the author does beautifully during the first
third of the book is to keep people guessing who Jenna is:
the mother or the driver. She teases the reader with quotes,
such as these: “In a split second, Jenna Gray's world
descends into a nightmare;” and “About running
away because I couldn’t see any other way of surviving
except starting over…screaming every night because I
can never be free from what happened.”
The abuser, Ian, is pure evil and based on the many offenders
Mackintosh dealt with while in the police force, “When
I was in the police I was really affected by the many women
who suffered abuse. The offenders had these alternate realities
built for themselves. There are very few perpetrators who
attempt to justify their behavior; yet, this odd behavior
in abusers I found intriguing. What is frightening about domestic
abuse is how slowly it builds. If you said to my character
in hindsight, ‘you will be ostracized from your friends
and family, will not be able to control your own money, and
will be told what to wear,’ I don’t think she
would go willingly into that relationship. What happens is
that it creeps up so gradually and someone’s self esteem
is broken down.”
It should come as no surprise that the story is very realistic
with scenes about police activities. Mackintosh spent twelve
years in the police force, including time on CID, and as a
public order commander. She has investigated serious assault
cases, worked with towns about crime prevention, and managed
large public demonstrations. Her inside knowledge helps to
create a believable, informative, and gripping story.
Deciding to concentrate solely on her family she retired in
2011. But she feels for those who are working mothers and
built those emotions into her characters. Mackintosh commented,
“One of the detectives, Ray, as a parent is blind to
what is going on at home and at times forgets what is important.
Ray is passionate and good at his job, throws himself into
it completely. His wife, Meg, gave up her profession to be
a stay at home mom. She is an intelligent woman who was very
successful at her career. In some aspects she misses some
of her former life. She struggles with losing her identity.
I definitely suffered with that when I left work.”
I Let You Go is a psychological thriller that the reader
will not want to put down. The compelling characters and many
twists will hook people from the very first page.
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