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Woman
On Top by Deborah Schwartz is a compelling account of
how two men had an impact on the female heroine, Kate. Jake
is Kate's late husband, who succumbed to cancer at the all
too early age of thirty-five. The author describes him as
Kate's soul mate, best friend, and lover. Len, a Wall Street
real estate investor is someone who feeds on money, power,
and control. He is a man with a steel heart whose arrogance
is beyond description.
The plot interchanges between the past, how Jake and Kate
confront his cancer, and the present, how Kate finds herself
in a relationship where she bargained away and became a skeleton
of her former self. The book begins with a short description
of Jake and Kate's romance and then jumps to the different
feelings experienced by Kate after Jake's death. A very potent
scene in the book, "It took me two years to take off
my wedding ring. First, I put it on my other hand and then
began practicing taking it on and off."
Anyone that lost a loved one understands the rollercoaster
ride Deborah, aka Kate, has gone through. But those lucky
enough to still have their better half can also relate to
Kate's emotions. The author noted, "The part of the book
regarding my husband's death at thirty-five is very real.
I was left with two young children, three and seven, and it
was devastating. A year after he died I sat down and wrote
about what happened to him to remember that awful time. I
also want my children to understand how their father struggled.
I remember our Rabbi came to my house, and said 'tomorrow
morning you need to start living for you are responsible for
two good children.' I put that scene in the book as well as
his attempt to answer why a good man had to die so young."
A warning, a red flag comes through in the book quote, "Had
we known the true nature of Jake's tumor from the beginning,
would we have made other decisions, explored other options...
But we were so vulnerable, so gullible, so desperate."
Deborah explained that originally her husband was given a
99.99% chance of cure. Yet, within a year he was dead. "We
felt so deceived. It really comes down to how a person's body
reacts to this disease. Unfortunately, my husband was the
.01%. I wrote this part to show people how terrifying it is
for those in the position of facing mortality, left only with
hope. There are always a thousand 'what ifs.'"
Knowing the Rabbi was correct, Kate jumps into the role of
a single working mom, but also a substitute father. She worked
as a health care lawyer while her children were in school,
but when they came home her other job started, that of a mother/father.
In the book she recalls how she entered the male role of being
a baseball coach for her son's little league teams.
How a woman who has it so together in her professional and
family life can get involved in such a wrong relationship
is an important theme in the book. Although Len was a composite
of "Wall Street types" she dated, there is the running
question, 'why did Kate stay with him, when she could have
walked and ended the relationship at certain points?'
In many
of the scenes with Len, the readers see his attempt at complete
control of Kate, how she compromised herself allowing him
to have all the psychological power, a form of emotional abuse.
She writes about his attitude towards her friends and family,
how he lied about dating other women, as well as how he wanted
her to be seen and not heard while meeting his friends, family,
and clients.
Deborah tried to explain how she, Kate, "endured staying
with that type of a man. After my husband died a part of me
died and I had to resuscitate myself. I did not date for about
three years and then only sparingly. As I was writing this
book I started to question why do women stay in a bad relationship:
is it a safety net, is it better than being single, do they
have a better life with all the financial support, is it because
of the children, or is it, as in my case, having no experience
with the dating life?"
She also gave a word of caution, "The 'Lens' are incredibly
seductive, tempting, and intoxicating. I fell victim to this
type of personality. My message is that I have been to hell
and back; yet, found my inner strength. Before someone gets
involved in a relationship find yourself and do not be needy."
Luckily for Deborah she literally and figuratively became
a Women On Top. She climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in
2011 and found her self-esteem by taking control of her life.
The reader will go through a range of emotions but will not
want to put this book down since Woman on Top is inspirational,
entertaining, and heartbreaking as Kate straddles two completely
different worlds.
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